Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, And human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect...

--E.M. Forster, Howards End

E.M. Forster understands that deep engagement with the world and with others is central to our sense of well-being. He also knows that many of us “live in fragments”--that we find it terribly difficult to connect. So he urges us to strive to connect ever more deeply. The focus of my psychotherapeutic work is precisely the same: to help people deepen their connections to their partners, their friends and their work and to disconnected parts of themselves so that they can live more fulfilling lives.

For those of us struggling with a fragmented sense of ourselves and our lives, one good way to deepen connection is to be able to talk more and more freely about what is going on in our minds and hearts with someone who will listen respectfully. Make no mistake, it is not at all easy to talk openly about what is going on within. Many of us are estranged from our emotional lives and it can feel quite anxiety provoking to build deeper connections to our feeling selves. But the more we befriend our feelings and come to understand the meaning we have made of them, the more deeply we will be able to engage with others and with our work. Life does indeed become more fulfilling when we connect.

What makes it possible to talk more and more openly about what is happening inside of ourselves? I encourage the people with whom I work to follow one rule and one rule only: to give words to whatever comes to their mind. It is not easy to do! What helps is that there are two of us deeply involved in this dialogue: observing together, exploring more deeply. Slowly, it becomes easier, and the easier it becomes the more likely it is that feelings and thoughts are meeting on new ground Good psychotherapy must be a place where that confidence can keep growing that one will not be judged or criticized or shamed for whatever one is talking about or feeling--a goal that is at the center of the work I do. 

To make an appointment, please call 617-232-3458 or email me at rongoldman@comcast.net